GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

I'VE HAD ENOOOOUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GENUINELY. WHAT IS YOUR HATRED FOR SOCIAL PEOPLE????

I don't really want to call her bad stuff, but this is just insecure bitch behavior. She is not a bitch, but she's so insecure and has bitchy behavior. I don't know if she deserves the title bitch. Is she better than my bullies or something? Yes, definitely. Does it mean this is any good? No!!!! (Turkish: Kul hakkına girmek istemem ama kız hakediyor gibi.)

Let me tell you about the thing she told me today. Today, I was trying to flee my classroom so I don't have to talk to her but I got caught on the way and had to waste my lunch break on her instead of studying for my exams or working on my journal or something. I was trying to make a calendar. That's when did she tell me "The biggest red flag in a person is that they like their classmates."

I didn't even want to look at her face but my look really said "Bitch???????" And I said "You know what? That's none of your business, actually. People can like their classmates. Not ALL classrooms are bad and not all people are entirely bad!" I wasn't even trying to be positive or something becaus I am so fed up with her. You know, sometimes you can get along with your class, even if you don't have too much in common. Her class is NOT that bad. I know some people there and they're quite chill.

She tried to defend that slop, saying "Oh, but they're so social, they get along with everyone!!!!!!!" or "Oh but all of my classes were soooo baaaaadd!!!" and I said "How social people are is none of your business. People can get along. If you don't want to talk to such people, don't." I was just about to say "In fact, don't talk to me either because I am more social than you are."

I am going to say that next time...

That's when she brought up the Turkish proverb "Bana arkadaşını söyle sana kim olduğunu söyleyeyim", which means something like "man is known by the company he keeps." You know, I brought up that proverb one time when I said I stay away from my bully's friends who try to talk to me to just laugh at me. You know, it's a form of self-defense. I stay away from my bully's friends because they're like her and they also bully me!

I don't have much to say about this because well, they are my bullies! And I told her exactly that, I stay away from my bully's friends because they also make fun of me, not because they are social and friends with her. That's when she yells "THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!" Not like she agrees with me, more like she's having a fight with me. What the f*ck is your problem?? Do you think I'm willingly speaking to you?

Everyone currently in my classroom went silent and looked at her, but I didn't even look up to her face. I just said "You didn't have to yell." If you have something to pick with me, just f*cking tell me. I don't want to stay with someone like you willingly. Someone who shits on others because she's insecure. Someone who hates on people for no good reason. Someone who brings me down just by thinking about their presence. Someone who is being stupid like this and refuses to admit anything wrong.

Let's quote this with the song I knew lyric by lyric in 2021.

I don't even feel good about it anymore
'Cause you don't take the advice
You fucking use me for

I really need a fucking break...

And then she goes on with how she just wishes to yell after the flag ceremony (In the start of monday and the end of friday, we line up in the garden, sing the national march and two people elevate the flag.) because there's just too much people and it stresses her or some shit. I said "Okay go yell there like anyone can hear you in that noise." I thought it was a bit dumb and disrespectful as it only lasts for 10 mins max and you're just standing and singing, but I don't know how bad it is for her, so I can't say much.

It just seems like she's using me just because I'm not a complete asshole towards her and doesn't actually care about me or what I'm saying. I am NOT built to agree with you. I will not agree with you all the time and you GOT to stop being so whiny about this. Yes, I don't believe all social people are bad. Yes, I don't believe all people who listen to rap are assholes. Yes, other people's lives are not my business unless it's interfering with innocent people's. Yes, I believe you are being an asshole for no reason. Yes, mankind is a disease but there are good people out there, or people who can manage being kind.

I really don't want to talk to her for a while. But she won't leave me alone. I feel guilty because her parents are nice and friends with mine, and she's not too bad but she's just a hater for no reason and I am fed up with her things. I don't care about your self insert and how you make her so so so sad so people feel pity for you. I don't. Another time you mention her and I'm actually getting up and leaving. I project my feelings on Sydney too, but it's not because I want people's pity, I want to make awareness.

Anyways, tomorrow maybe I'll confront her in my classroom. I need a break guys

I end this post with a quote from one of my favorite characters:

"I CANT TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!!!!!"

Thank you Medic from Team Fortress 2 for your amazing quote that describes my feelings perfectly and I love you.

Good Lord.

I literally made these pages before about me so I can talk about it, since I don't want to bore my other friend anymore. But I am SO done.

I have a friend at school. We met through a friend. She likes vocaloid. I know she isn't entirely bad but I have problems.

I've been annoyed with her recently. And let me tell you why.

1) Introversion and hating people shouldn't be your entire personality.

She has quite bad social anxiety,I believe. Still, that doesn't excuse you to hate on everyone for no f*cking reason at all. Especially my other friends. Let me quote her,even.

"Every social friend I have constantly talks about having fake friends, their friends throwing them under the bus, having to fit in with the society, needing validation etc. etc. It's like the only problems they have are social."

Hold on. Excuse you. Why is my every problem suddenly about my social circle? And why does it matter to you? So what IF people's only problems are social? Let that be their only problem. Is having so many mental problems such a flex to have? Collecting them like Pokémon cards or something.

And why is only having "social problems" so bad? Sure, it might not be as bad as like something like psychosis or abuse, but we are all drowning, the depth of the water doesn't matter. You don't know how bad it is for everyone. And you probably don't even know how bad can it get. Like, okay, you have bad mental health but it shouldn't mean everyone has to. You have to know how bad it can be. If you still say this:

1. You don't care about your "social" friends, or
2. You can't comprehend the seriousness of that statement.

And how do you even KNOW all of my friends are fake and toxic? I only told you about some of my old friends at middle school that were pretty much traumatic experiences. But that doesn't even slightly mean I don't have nice and loving friends now. I just don't tell you about them because I know you're insecure and I want to be polite. Still, it doesn't seem to be working on you.

And let's say all of my friends are fake. Why does it matter to you? (Unless you just want the good for me, which sounds like you aren't.) Even if you were, you could just warn me about it and if I understand, I'll leave them. If I don't, that's my problem now, not yours. I'm not saying you shouldn't be caring about your friends, I'm saying you shouldn't hate on them for it. It's quite similar to hating on someone for having no / little friends.

Also, having a lot of friends or being social doesn't mean you have to obey social norms. Those are entirely seperate things, you can't put them under the same umbrella. I can't even say "even if most of them do" because of the sheer absurdity. It has NOTHING to do with obeying social norms. "Yeah, I have a lot of friends and now I have to obey what people say about me!!!!"said no one EVER.

Sounds like someone is either stereotyping or just wants to be a hater because of their own insecurity, huh?

I'm trying my best to not be rude but I like the feeling I got while writing the last sentence. Like this isn't just me being a hater. It isn't, but it's hard to believe that I'm good because of my mental health. Chat is this clocking?

So yeah, you have no reason to attack people for having a lot of friends, it just shows your own insecurity more than anything. My friends are my own problem, not yours. If I tell you about them, that's because I trust you, not because I want you to hate on me for the most stupid f-cking reason ever.

AND I talked about this with her. About her post. And let me tell you, being angry doesn't excuse you for your stupidity. That's...also basically how the legal system works. Like, it is a cause but not an excuse. Same goes for mental health,for example. You can't keep calling everyone different than you idiots and seeing them as secondary to you. Do you think you're so special? Let me quote her again.

"Also I realized that I haven't seen a dumb asocial and I barely see a smart person in a circle of friends (I can't really translate what I'm trying to say but I'm basically talking about environments where everyone is so buddy-buddy and overly intimate)."

"Also I feel like people who constantly look for a friend group can't even use their own brain. It's like they share one brain."

Okay so what the f-ck? Intelligence does NOT equal introversion, and it seems like you CLEARLY lack that information!(or you just don't like it...) Extroverts or social people can be smart. I know smart people that are way more social than her. Even if I didn't, anyone can understand that those are entirely different things. Like a fork and a fridge. The only thing they have in common is that they're in the kitchen (which in this case,resembles psychology.)

Do I need to explain more? F-ck yes. Let's see the definitions for Introversion + Extroversion and Intelligence.

Introversion and extroversion are defined as "central trait dimensions in human personality theory." They are defined as "attitude types" by Carl Jung.

"Introversion is the state of primarily obtaining gratification from one's own mental life."

"Extraversion is the state of primarily obtaining gratification from outside oneself."

Intelligence is widely defined as "the ability to perceive or infer information and to retain it as knowledge to be applied to adaptive behaviors within an environment or context."

Intelligence is defined as "The aggregate or global capacity of the individual to act purposefully, to think rationally, and to deal effectively with one's environment." by David Wechsler.

It is also defined as "Goal-directed adaptive behavior" by Robert Sternberg and William Salter.

So, one of them is considered where the person gets gratification (here, their own mental life or outside factors) and the other is an ability to process information and use it when needed. Thus, one of them is a personality trait, and the other is an ability. I'd love to use more scientific terms but this is what it is in the very core. A personality trait and an ability isn't the same. Being introverted doesn't mean you're smart. Sure,you can be, but it's a trait of your personality, and NOT how intelligent you are. You can be social and smart, and asocial and dumb.

And, let's get on the second quote. Wanting to belong is an instinct. If you don't think and obey to what people are doing, that's just toxic and I agree, is harmful. But that's not what you're talking about. Isn't it common for people that share the same interests to form a friend group? They can have the same opinions, do the same things, have similar likes and dislikes and so on. And it's certainly nobody's, and especially none of YOUR business how close people are to each other. Why do you have to interfere with everything? It doesn't harm you how close people are to each other to hate so much. Sure, you can have opinions. If you don't want to be so close to a person, so be it. But if you hate on people for it, then it's a problem. I'll be smart, get good grades and still kiss my friends(i haven't,but still.) and share my deepest thoughts with them homever I want. Who are you to stop me?

Which brings us to our second subject:

2) I thought you'd be more mature than this.

Good LOOOOOOORRRRRDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!! (I love this phrase so much bro I love using it, it is PERFECT at explaining my annoyance.) I have a lot to say.

I can't bring up age for maturity, as older people can be less mature than younger people too. There's a lot of examples for this, but I don't feel like getting assassinated by the CIA or having my site get blocked by BTK(They block websites for the dumbest reasons ever.)

Enough. Let's get to work.

2a) Not everything is a personal attack.

Now, I have NO idea if I have the right to say this as a person who blames themselves for everything, but this is something else.

You have to know I won't support or approve of your every single action. I mean, that's what you were hating on in your post, that is. And it's pretty much common sense. With saying that, I can say that your code for your game looks wrong,right? I am not hating on your game and yelling at you about flaws. I just say this looks wrong, and the code from a previous game might not work again. (f*cking python) This is NOT a personal attack! You do not need sulk over it like a middle schooler. (which I think you have the mentality of.) And I gave advice, and it didn't work, that's okay? Do I look like Mr. PyTom from here? I don't think so. Still, it's okay to make mistakes, but it isn't a good idea to get mad when people try to help in normal conditions, isn't it?

Also, you know I'm autistic. And I am sensitive to noise. Me asking you to eat away from me because the noise irritates me doesn't mean I hate you, but it means I will be angry at you for the chewing noise. Yes, I am aware you can't really get rid of it because of your health, and for our own good I'm asking you to eat away from me. The chewing noise is disgusting and it irritates me. You are not the chewing noise. I am just simply asking you to eat away from me !!!!! I will lash out at you one way or another these days, and I'd prefer if it isn't for such a mundane thing!

And, because I told you to not reply to my fucking bullies doesn't mean I hate you too. I am asking because I Am Getting Bullied By Those People And I Can't Do This Anymore. I don't care if it's just a word! I warned you before to not talk to my bullies! Besides, you ignore all of my problems and say I only have one problem because I have friends. GOOOOODDDDD LLOOOOOOOOORRRRRDDDDD, not everyone tells their friends about how they were sexually assaulted or how they have psychosis! Maybe they don't tell you! Which means, I won't even tell you anymore. If you ignore all of my problems and put me in a stereotype, I am allowed to tell you to not talk to people who makes my "unexistent" problems worse. Oh my GOD.

I believe people are more than their mental problems, you know? Like they have real relationships, their own self, their interests, their life and everything. Mental health plays a great factor, but not all people complain all the time like you. Maybe they don't want to, maybe they can't, and that's nobody's business too.

2b) I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been trying to understand you, and it's getting annoying. If I am sleeping, or if I look like so, YOU SHOULDN'T BE POKING ME AND TRYING TO WAKE ME UP. Like, HUH???? I am sleeping. If I am trying to sleep at school, it's because I'm really, really tired and I do not wish to speak to anyone(this includes you.) I do not need to talk to you every lunch break. I have a life. Somedays I want to talk to other friends of mine. Somedays I just want to draw. Somedays I need to study. Somedays I just don't want to talk to anyone. I am getting fed up with this, and every time you come up to me I feel guilty and the need to talk to you. I don't want to talk, I want a break. I could be coming out of the WORST exam of my life and I'm sobbing my eyes out, and you could come up to me and say "hey so should i do this with my game?" Do I look like I can think about that? I could be having a psychotic episode and you would ask "what should i add to my school project" Yeah add me crying because I think I'm the reason for everything bad in this world, okay?

And our topics are getting repetetive too. You either talk about your game or complain. My opinion? I think the game is boring and the fact that the main character is obviously her self insert is a bit meh. I don't rub it in her face because she's just insecure and for how fed up I am with her, I would definitely come off as rude. She needs to know that mentions of mental health doesn't equal good writing. Same goes for like, a disorder. That's stereotyping. Like, a character has ASPD? Okay,cool. You're making a character based off ASPD? Ehhhh. How do you even do it? You know, mental illnesses have differentials and diagnostic criteria, and the severity of those are different for everyone. Stereotypes are harmful. And for your information, not everyone with ASPD are criminals. Sure,they are prone to crime, but that doesn't mean all of them committed or will commit crime.

Besides, you could be talking about something else too, like something you saw on your way to school, something normal, instead of complaining. It doesn't make you less edgy, okay? We don't need to be talking about your game, vocaloid or complaints.

2c) None of my business.

I am not doing your vent game or your schoolwork.

Can't believe you just decided I should, too.

It has been a while since we last spoke about this but also like, what?

One day, she said we should do a game together. I said okay, and she asked me what should we do it about, and I said "I don't know." Does this mean we should do YOUR venting game about YOUR problems? No! I don't care you portrayed it on a voicebank or not too. It is not my problem! This isn't a good topic on a game we can both do!

I also found the game mechanics to be froth, and they didn't make sense for me, but that's irrevelant.

When I spoke about this with her, she said she chose the topic because "I didn't say anything." Do you still think its a great idea to make me do your vent game? I have a good lack of empathy. I am not gonna pity you all that much and offer to pay for your therapy or something. (I can't even go to mine for 2 months because my doctor's busy?!) Sounds like you're just using my kindness for your own will.

I am not interested in doing your venting game. PARASETAMOL is a project where I vent too, and I would like to do it myself, because it's about me and I already bother people enough. Art is a healthly way to portray your own emotions, but:

1. No human or AI will understand your feelings as much as good as you. You might get upset over the fact.
2. People have their own problems to deal with.
3. Maybe I don't want to draw gore.

You're kind of acting like you're the only mentally ill person ever. Trust me, you're not.

I've had enough. I calmed down enough to end this post but I don't feel like talking to her for a while...I undestand she is not a bad person at heart, but yeah.

Oh James Wilson you don't know how real you are ...